Memory Lane

Memories.

I don't remember where this photo was taken, but this is my older brother Lucas and I.

Growing up, Lucas was always the sensitive brother, but he was always so ready to protect me and our family.

I remember that he wanted to be a Vet, he really loved (and still loves) animals.

He would plait my long curly hair and then plait ribbons into my hair.

I had a kidney problem when I was younger (I only have 1.5 kidneys thanks to an issue I had when I was about 4) and I would always wet the bed.

It got to the stage where I was wetting the bed so often as I had no control over my bladder that I would not want to wake my Mum or Dad up.

Lucas would always hear me sobbing, or even just hear the flick of my light switch in the middle of the night and would be in my room in a flash, taking off my wet pajamas, taking me to the bathroom and then laying a few towels underneath me in bed to keep me warm and dry, as neither of us knew how to change the sheets.

When we were in QLD on a family holiday there was a Koala teddy at Timezone that I really wanted and he spent all day (and all of Dads money, probably!) winning enough tickets to win me that Koala, who I named Sleepy and slept with every night until I moved out of home.

One night when our parents were out and my brothers were looking after me, something happened and I told Lucas that I hated him and wished he was not my brother.

I'll never forget the look on his face.

He ran to my bedroom, grabbed Sleepy, set him on fire and threw him over our balcony which was 3 floors up. I found Sleepy the next day, his foot was burnt off but I still loved him.

Lucas' interests changed as we got older, he became more interested in hunting, shooting etc but his sensitive side never faded.

This photo was taken in the kitchen of the house we grew up in, in Mt Eliza.

When I dream, they always take place in this house.

I think because we left this house on such bad terms that I have never been at peace with it.

I have so many amazing and so many terrible memories at this house.

I have memories of playing with my siblings, my friends, the card nights my family would have and I would be the waitress (I was about 8) and they would pay me to bring them water and coke.

I remember Lucas setting up a casino in his bedroom and his friends all gambling for money there.

I remember Liz, Jo & Greg coming over on the weekends and being so excited for them to arrive.

I remember on NYE Mum would let us stay up until midnight and then we would go and bang pots and pans on the balcony.

I remember the day I went with my Dad in the car and did not tell Mum and she thought I had been kidnapped and by the time we got back there was 10 police cars in our drive way and plenty more scouring the streets looking for me. This was at the same time as Mr Cruel was abducting children. Poor Mum.

I also remember being small enough to hide in the little cupboard that was built into my home work desk and thinking it would block out the yelling and screaming. It didn't.

I remember seeing Joseph cry for the first time.

I remember having to stay at a hotel the night my Mum locked her self in her ensuite, and the paremedics had to knock the door down to get to her.

I remember the police taking me to the police station, and not caring that I only had my too small for me nightie on.

School.

I remember being left at school because no one picked me up.

We went to the snow a fair bit. I always fainted in the chalet for some reason, high altitude maybe. I remember fainting, but being able to hear my mum screaming and sticking her hands in my mouth and prying open my jaw and holding my tongue.

I also remember the fireman carrying me and sleepy to the ambulance like a rag doll. They said they would not give me a needle until both my parents got there, but they lied.

Apparently I was pretty sick when I was little and would not eat. I don't remember. To this day, and I am 22 and a healthy weight, my Dad says, without fail "Did you eat enough dinner Maryanne??". Drop it Geefa!!!

Cat would always hold my nose up and make me look like a pig.

I would always call her Mum when we were in public. She is 14 years my senior and I was determined to make the boys she liked think she was really my Mum.

I also have lots of memories of Joseph making me cry, but he would always look after me when there was may-jah drama with the divorce. He is a shit head but he would do anything for me. He has a shit eating grin that makes you want to punch him in the face.

He was the one who made sure I did my homework every night from grade 6 - year 12.

I kind of failed him there!!!