An open letter.

Dear Tenants,

Yes, all of you. Well, not all of you, just the annoying type.

You call me at 9:10am to report that the blind in your living room will not roll up. I tell you I will send someone out to repair it.
Do not call back at 9:20am to inform me that you have not heard anything yet. Do not tell me this is an urgent matter. I do not consider this urgent.
You don't have a gas leak, no hot water, a burst pipe or a broken window. You have a blind that will not roll up. Big deal. It will be fixed, but not in 10 minutes.
No, you cannot have the blind companies phone number. They do not want you to hassle them either. It will be fixed. Okay??

Do not tell me all the reasons that your rent has not been paid for 3 weeks, I don't really care that you had to fly your sisters cousins dog to Ireland for the holidays. Pay it please, or risk being kicked out. You have 14 days, remember that. We will. Usually we are nice, and don't kick you out, but sometimes you deserve it.

Yes, it is unfortunate that we send out arrears letters. Pay the rent on time and you will not be the recipient of an arrears letter. Yes, really, it is that simple. No, I am not joking. Try paying it and find out.

Do not complain about the costs involved when you break a lease. I don't make up the rules!

I understand this is part of my job to deal with you all, but must you make it so difficult?

Yours faithfully,

M.